Nintendo DS Hijinks
November 24th, 2004
Once upon a time a time, a relatively successful company called Nintendo came out with a portable gaming system code named: Nintendo DS. This new system would surpass all of the previous portable gaming systems with new games, bells, and whistles. Unlike the other portable gaming systems with only one screen, it had two screens; one of which was a touch screen! All of the other systems laughed.
“Two screens?! Get a life!” cried the Redesigned PS2.
“Hah! Who would want to touch your screen anyways?” raged the Xbox.
“Flash memory cartridges?!” shouted the anticipated PSP.
But the little 1 and a 10th inch thick Nintendo DS had high hopes, and so did one of it’s pre-orderers: Joel Gillman. Unfortunately for them, they had underestimated the power of GameStop.com and UPS. A power of which had never been seen prior to this pre-order. On the day before Joel Gillman and his Nintendo DS were to be united, Joel anxiously checked the tracking status via UPS’s information database on the World Wide Web.
“Aw, isn’t that ironic.” Joel thought to himself, “it’s shipping though Middleton, Wisconsin. I live in Madison, Wisconsin which is only 20 minutes from there.”
And it was ironic.
“No worries, it will ship up to my apartment in Minneapolis, Minnesota where I live.”
Later that day Joel couldn’t wait to check to see the tracking status again, just to make sure that it was well on it’s way.
“Huh? Why does it say there was an error? Why does the status read as ‘Delivered?’ If it’s delivered, how come I don’t have it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
Yes, it seemed that the Nintendo DS and Joel Gillman would not be united on their expected date. Joel would not let this happen. He jumped into action! and cried a little to himself… BUT THEN his roommate Brendon slapped him across the face and told him to “pull it together, man” and Joel picked up the phone and called UPS to see what they wanted for random. They were holding the Nintendo DS hostage in one of their High Towered Fortresses of Storage just outside of his home town of Madison. The UPS operator (of doom) said in a diabolical, sick, twisted voice, “Try calling GameStop.com they might be able to tell you how to get your package.”
GameStop.com didn’t know jack-shit and made Joel Gillman mad…
So Joel called UPS back and battled with yet another sick, twisted, diabolical operator and was able to squeeze out more information. “The address of where it was shipped with be available in 24 hours.” 24 hours was a long time… but so was the day before Chris-anuka. And the sooner little Joelie went to sleep the night before Chris-anuka, the sooner a fat rabbi, in a red and white business suit would come through the gas pipes with his magical suitcase full of presents for all of the good Jewish-Christian girls and boys.
(wow that was long…)
Point is, Joel decided to sleep the 24 hours away. Then next morning the address had been posted. He new the secret location of his Nintendo DS. He called his father to tell the tale of the Kidnapped Nintendo DS and enlist his help…
Silly father! UPS had called him two days prior to tell him that there was an error with the shipping address. They shipped it to the work place of Joel’s father where it was actually held safe and sound. It was taken home and sat on the table awaiting Joel’s arrival. Unfortunately, Joel’s father, Joel’s mother, UPS, GameStop.com, God, and the Holy Ghost of Rabbi’s and Cilantro had neglected to inform Joel of the safe arrival of the Nintendo DS.
Check back soon so find out what happens when Joel finally is united with his Nintendo DS!!