Wanted: Me

I can talk to you. I can talk to you about anything. I can lay with you and sleep.
You make me feel smart. You make me feel special. You make me feel wanted.

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Hot Girls and Beautiful Girls

I may feel like a bastard later for making this post, but I'll do it before the feeling is gone:

Hot Girls are the ones you see on porn sites. Most don't really exist and are only a product of years of advertising culture telling us what a woman should look like. Big breasts, long legs, blond hair, and perfect skin. But the hot girls are only looks. They have little more to offer than their good looks and hopes for "piece on earth." Well I'm sorry Ms. America, but you are not for me.

Beautiful Girls have much more to offer than hot girls. They are intellectual, they are mature. They know when to joke, when to be serious, when to be sensual, when to be professional. As far as looks, to each his own. The stereotype of "hot girl" is personally way off base for a beautiful girl. Personally, I would take smaller breasts, brown hair and imperfect skin any day if she understood me, knew me and wanted to know me.

Once a beautiful girl asked me why I liked her so much. I couldn't give her an answer, "why are you beautiful?" I knew why, but I could not put it into words. I knew every second why she was beautiful and what made her such a wonderful person but it was something I knew in my soul. Never to be expressed in words and only felt. Like love. You can't see it, but you can feel it. You know when it is there, and you know when it leave.

I know that sometimes I act like the jerk or the funny guy. But truthfully, inside I can be sincere. I'm a good person, I'm a great person who has never meant anyone any harm. I just wish they could all see that.

Gareth, feel free to copy this entry in part or in whole. You are a beautiful guy.

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Alone Time

I am now back in Madison and I finally have a little alone time to update this god-forsaken blog.

I was just thinking last night about MCAD, but mostly my roommate Bill (to whom I am very close). While I was in Portland we talked online, and then when I got back to Minneapolis, we talked online. We tried playing a little phone tag but never actually got to talk to each other. MAJOR DAJAVU: I feel like I haven't gone to MCAD yet and that me and Bill haven't actually met yet. We'll talk online and call each other a few times, but it's so weird! But Bill, I can't wait to talk to you again :-)

On another note, it's really freak'n cold in my parents house! I'm used to my apartment which usually sits around 75 degrees. ::Checks Tempature:: Yeah, a balmy 68 degrees inside here... Hopefully, I'll be able to update more now. PREPARE FOR EMOTIONS PEOPLE! Madison is a vile place filled with hated "friends-who-you-pretend-to-like-but-really-hate," Ex-Girlfriends, and Ex-Teachers. I should live, but just in case, you guys can have my shoes if I die.

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Depression Setting In

I know, I know. I'll only be gone for a month. And I'll get to see all of my old Mad Town friends. But I'm gonna miss Chris, and Allison, and Linea, and Danny, and Bill, and Ben, and a Billion Jillion other people who i can't remember right now.

And so I am now. I'll be leaving in 14 hours and I'll I'm doing right now is sitting. Sitting in front of my computer screen waiting for someone to come home. Or for a call, or instant message. I'm feeling lonely. Maybe I should pack

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I Like Girls

Let me start out with this very short conversation...

Joel: Hey check out that girl. Ger-rowel!
Katie: Joel, you do realise that you're the only one who likes girl in this group, right?
Joel: But, I... Holy shit you're right. HOW DID I NOT REALISE THIS BEFORE?!

Out of me, Ben, Bill, and Katie, I'm the only one who is checking out chicks. That kinda makes me feel like a bastard for being like, "Hey, check out that girl," and everyone else is just like that's great Joel. Gareth that's why I need you around. Tim, that's why I need you around (though it's a little harder for you since you're in Iowa). But have no fear, I will continue to remark on the physical appearance of girls around be despite this recent discouragement. Not to say I don't appreciate the female mind, which I do.

EDIT: Wow, just realised how much more of a bastard I sound like now. I'm really not a bigot towards women at all, I respect women a lot and enjoy their company.

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Fan Club and Snow

About a month ago, it came to my attention that I appear to have a 'fan club' if you will of readers. I'm not sure if 'the gang' reads this blog for my hot-hot body, or since I am pseudo-poetic with words. Either way, I thank you all for reading and I'll make sure to update with lots of pictures as soon as my finals are finished!

On the note of snow: The toilet in my bathroom was 'out of order' last night. A pleasant surprise at 1:30 in the morning... It's times likes these I love living so close to school. So I put my pants, shirt, shoes, and jacket back on and trudged back to the main building. As I stepped outside, the 2nd snow fall was here. It was beautiful to see the snow passing in front of the flood lights on the top of the buildings. I won't describe the rest of the story, but walking through the snow was so romantic. One of those moments where I longed for someone's hand to hold in the snowy cold, it was a nice thought. But as far as the longing, I am content with my current disposition of very much single.

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GOLDEN GOD

I AM A GOLDEN GOD! I AM A MACHINE! STAMINA IS THE DEFINITION OF MY UNSPOKEN NAME!

I just finished TWO (2) of my final projects. Three page English paper, one rewrite of an earlier paper, matted ten photos. And it only took me 13 hours!! Now I only have one final project left, and it's not due till Friday! Now, I shall sleep.

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No Posting

Sorry for the lack of posts. I've got a lot of stuff that I could be putting up, but right now there's just not enough time. Final projects up the wazoo and stuff like eating and sleeping too... Sometimes bathing... sometimes... More posts after finals are over (Dec 10)!!!

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Strange Good Feeling

I don't have anything to be sad about, and I don't have anything to be mad about. I'm a little nervious about my final project deadlines, but I'm on top of everything so it shouldn't be a problem. I'm happy and feeling good. I'm content that I might not have a "significant other" for the next year ever! That's kinda a weird thought but I'll have a lot of time to work on my grades and more time to spend with my friends whom I hold so dear.
It snowed today and it looks so beautiful on campus! It's supposed to snow some more and I'm going to try to take some long-exposure night shots. Hopefully they'll turn out well!

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